Don't Let Perfect Be the Enemy of Good
If you've ever been on any kind of diet, you've probably had one of those days where everything just goes out the window. You start the week off great, but then Friday rolls around and sticking to that diet gets more difficult.
You wake up with the best intentions, but then somebody brings donuts into the office, and you've been good, so you eat one. Then a co-worker invites you out to lunch and, since you've already cheated on your diet today, you figure now would be a good day to treat yourself to a cheese quesadilla. At this point, you've completely blown your diet so you might as well enjoy it. You grab the last crusty donut in the kitchen on your way out of the office and grab some Taco Bell on your way home.
You'll get "back on track" next week. Rinse and repeat.
We've all had days like this, where one small deviation from our path sends us down a ditch that we have to climb out of.
And I've seen the same exact thing happen with money.
Heck, I'm even guilty of it myself! A few years ago my wife and I took a vacation to New York City. We had a general budget going into it, but once we got there, we got into this "Money is no object" mentality. We're in NYC, let's live it up! So we spent WAY more than we budgeted for on food, museums, shows, etc.
Now that mindset may have a time and place, and we created some lifelong memories on that trip, but the problem was, that mentality didn't end when we got back from the trip. We figured, "Hey, we already blew our budget for this month, might as well make the most out of it." So instead of limiting our spending once we got home, we continued dining out excessively and disregarded the budget for the remainder of the month. "We'll get back on track next month." I thought. Sound familiar?
All too often, whether it be in health or wealth, we let perfection become the enemy of good.
We falter just a little from our plan and let that negatively influence future choices. We give those small, poor decisions the power over all our decisions for that day, week, or month.
We think of decisions, especially around food and money, in arbitrary time periods. For instance, most people think about diets in weekly terms. Most people think about money in monthly terms. So if you mess up your diet just once then "the whole week is ruined". If you go over your restaurant budget one month then "the whole month is ruined".
We need to get out of this way of thinking.
While the thought of "I'll get back on track later" may feel like a temporary relief, I would argue that it adds to our stress. It feeds the idea of "I failed", so we carry around this sense of failure, which most definitely influences our internal monologue. This thinking also prevents us from making good decisions for the remainder of the day, week, or month…decisions that could actually progress us towards our goals.
It would be like if you took a wrong turn on a road trip, but instead of deciding to turn around immediately to get back on track towards your destination, you said "Well, this trip is ruined. Let's go home. We'll try again next week."
That's nonsense. Yet this is exactly what we're doing when we view progression as only occurring in weekly or monthly increments.
Alternatively, by viewing each choice as an isolated decision, you give yourself the freedom to make better choices, even after making a not-so-great choice. As I discussed at length in a recent blog on building good habits, the key to achieving your goal is through small, consistent actions. It doesn't happen overnight, and one failure does not mean you need to start back at square one.
Instead, you can use every choice you make (good or bad) as a feedback source for making better decisions moving forward. For instance, maybe you spent more than expected on entertainment this month, but you still have 2 weeks left of the month; does that mean you "live it up" and make more decisions that move you further from your goals? Of course not. You learn from the experience and do better next time. And by "next time", I don't mean "next week" or "next month", I mean right now…today.
Because eating two donuts is better than eating a dozen donuts. And spending $200 over your budget on restaurants is better than spending $400 over your budget. And while it may be defeating to miss your mark, one bad decision this morning does not remove your ability to make a good decision this afternoon.
We all make mistakes. We all miss the mark. But if we learn from those mistakes, instead of immediately abandoning our path, we'll be that much closer to reaching our goal. Progress is progress, no matter how small.